Thursday, July 30th, 2009...9:45 pm
5 Things you can do to keep your man happy
It is really funny, women think that men are so complicated but the simple truth is we really only have a few primal urges and everything else really doesn’t matter too much to us in the grand scheme of things. Aside from the standard eating, drinking, sleep and sexing, there isn’t too much we need to be happy, but if you want to go above and beyond the call of duty to really show him you care, try adding ALL of these things into your relationship.
Lets face it, relationships do nothing but age, but that doesn’t mean the passion has to fizzle out. If things are starting to get a little cold in the bedroom it is definitely time to stir things up and bring the fun back to the bedroom. If your man seems to be getting a little used to the same ol’ song and dance why not bring a friend into the picture. No silly, not another girl (although I doubt he’ll complain), I mean pick out several sexy costumes, buy them then randomly crack them one when he least expects it. Imagine coming out of the bathroom dressed up as Prince Leia or another character that gets him hot. You won’t regret it!
Surprise Action in Precarious Places
Almost all men love adventure, whether it be climbing mount Everest to flying half way around the world to meet up with a friend to toss a few dozen beers back in the comfort of somebody else’s back yard. We love any sort of adventure, but we especially love conquests. What we love even more than conquests is when you combine an adventure with a conquest. The next time you are taking a late night stroll by the local high school, drag your man into one of the school door ways and initiate a little smooching action. I’m not trying to advocate indecent exposure, but half the fun in hooking up somewhere public is the risk and rush of the potential of getting caught. Your man will be both happy because he had a bit of an adventure, and because you initiated the action instead of him constantly being the hunter. You might even land yourself flowers from this sexcapade.
Ice Cold Beer After Work
Again not all men drink, but all the real ones do! Chances are your man works hard for a living. He probably takes you out for dinner now and again and takes care of you in some way or another. Modern men don’t expect nearly as much in return as our fathers or our father’s fathers but it doesn’t mean we don’t get ecstatic when you take care of us. After a long hard days work on a hot summers day, treat your man to a six pack of a half decent micro brewery beer. Better yet, get those brewkies ice cold and have them ready out on the patio when he comes home from work. When he walks in the door, urge him to take off his shoes and come out back. Grab a round for the two of you and sit back and enjoy your surroundings. If you don’t like beer, suck it up for a day and pretend like you do; after this stunt that big scratch you put down the side of the car won’t phase him for the next few days.
Become knowledgeable in his favorite sport
Lots of women do nothing but wine and complain when their boyfriends or husbands watch their weekly sports. Ladies, you need to learn that learning about both his favorite sport and his favorite team are secret weapons in your relationship arsenal. At first it may be a bit tedious to sit down and watch a bunch of sweaty men battle to win a sport you don’t care about. But once you start to understand the rules, and the players who are in the game, you just might actually find yourself interested. Better yet you will be able to have conversations with your man about the game, opening up even more lines of communication with him (that is what you want isn’t it????).
I have actually seen this weapon in action and let me tell you, your man will appreciate it so much, he will actually brag about you and your sports knowledge to his coworkers. I’ve actually seen this first hand, and ladies if a guy brags about you knowing your sports, that is a HUGE compliment.
Let him hang with his boys
This is probably the hugest killer of relationships I have ever seen. Some women have trust issues and are not very generous with allowing their man to hang out with his guy friends. Ladies, in order to give you our all, we need our masculine time to recharge our testosterone batteries. Contrary to many women’s popular beliefs men are a lot more disgusting than you give us credit for. We need to let our animalistic male behavior unleash to our friends or we can’t give you the tender loving feminine side you want from us. All we ask is that a few times a month we are allowed out of our cages to go play with the other dogs. Fail to give us this, and you might as well flush the key to our hearts down the drain with that giant dump you just took.
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5 Comments
July 31st, 2009 at 4:30 pm
Just suck his dick, play with his balls, fix him a sandwich and don’t talk so much.
August 2nd, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Wow…I’m assuming this was written by a woman. I really don’t think its so complicated to keep someone who you’re compatible with happy. Here’s my five tips.
1. Give him space. Just like you wouldn’t want him scrutinizing your every movement, if he wants to go grab a beer with his friends, its because he wants to catch up. Not because he wants to go “score some new tail” or whatever the cliche women think that men use.
2. Don’t whine all the time. Its not that men don’t feel feelings, or that they’re so macho that they don’t talk to anyone about them…its that they know exactly how it feels to hear incessant whining, and they don’t want to push the same on their significant other.
3. When angry, and he says he doesn’t know why, explain it. Calmly. Truthfully. This is not a fun game, and odds are hes not just covering his ass. From my own perspective, if you can’t explain why you’re mad, then you don’t understand it. And if YOU can’t understand it, how the **** could I?
4. Don’t expect a gratitude fest everytime you do something for him. Don’t freak out whenever he does something for you. This makes everything feel so fake its almost intolerable. If you don’t think your man is putting just as much thought as you do into your relationship, you’re either egotistical or with the wrong person. Guys just don’t try to cash in on how much time they spent agonizing about what to do about situations, how to take care of you…so don’t act like you saved his life because you spent 20 minutes in walmart deciding on what hat to get him.
5. Stop thinking everything is about sex all of the time. I have no idea why the stereotype is that only men are obsessed with sex. In my experience (friends and relationships) both parties are equally interested, and too much of it, or putting too much emphasis on it, kills the relationship part.
*Bonus*
Don’t compete. Don’t bring up past mistakes. Don’t hit. Don’t act like a 3 year old when he wants to do something you don’t want to do. Don’t act like everything bad is his fault.
DO consider his perspective first (as everyone should do with everyone in every situation ever) This will save a lot of stress and inevitably solve a lot of problems.
August 9th, 2009 at 9:36 am
nick’s write up was better than the original post.
August 21st, 2009 at 6:39 am
I hate lists like this. Lists such as this assume that every guy is the same. Not all guys like sports and some guys prefer a woman’s naked body over a costume. If you really want to keep your man happy try asking him.
June 22nd, 2010 at 6:36 pm
This is a Great Post This is a good blog
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